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Wednesday, September 28, 2011

I'm starting to Get it now

Waves....thats what I'm getting.
It comes in waves...
Waves of being positive and waves of being down.
I read so many blogs that are strong inspiring women.
This week....Well this week was not that week.
There's a wave of many of us being down.

While I keep getting more bad news I don't want to hear.
So are many others this week.
They are riding the wave of being down.
Mets (you can read what Mets are by clicking on link)
Several having just found out they have cancer that is now somewhere else in their body.
Pain...that many are feeling
And the deep hurt of pain knowing some of our sisters are sicker.
And some are slipping away.......

So I am now "getting it"
It comes in waves of being strong..of being positive
To get knocked down...Waves of being down...then pulling yourself up again thru the love and prayers of your friends and family

There are no hero's ...Just strong people fighting to get through so many treatments and pain and LIVE.
None of us really have a choice.
And if we did have the choice it sure wouldn't be this.
So I have worked though the last bad news of still having to have more surgery in both sides of my chest.
Even tho I don't like it...I know I CAN DO IT !!!

I got the camera out this weekend when I seen all my baby geese in the front yard
(Where they shouldn't be) and had to laugh when I seen Tom chasing them with the lawn mover,blades off
to scare them into the back pond area again. As you can see...they are not babies anymore.
Tom then tried to get a shot of where they put this darn port in.
It doesn't show very well as it was to bright outside.
But you get the idea..This thing hurts my skinny old body.I wish I had just went with tying the chemo via IV first.And if it blew veins , then go with a port. And NOT one totally under my skin.
I was black and blue from chest to armpit and hurting on a chest that is still hurting from the mastectomies.

My sister is on her way from NC
My Mom is all ready for me at her house.
I will not be staying at home for the first few days, not knowing how I'll do with this chemo.
She wants to make sure I EAT and get plenty of rest.
I get motion sickness so easy , and get very sick for hours with general anesthesia
But I am armed with nausea meds and ready to start this next step.
Hopefully its not going to be that bad.
It's the not knowing that's so scary.

But today I am good...I'm riding the wave.
I can do this. I am going to be a survivor!!!

9 comments:

  1. Deb, you ARE a survivor! I can hear it in your voice. Good luck tomorrow, girlfriend!!!

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  2. debi, i am with you in spirit..ride the waves like a true surfer!!..i am glad you have your sister coming into help take care of you..i know your mom is glad as well...love ya lots and am continuing to pray for your speedy recovery..

    remember i am here if you need me..

    love ya
    debbie and bryan

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  3. Hi Debbi.
    Those waves you are riding are very normal.I don't think it would be normal to not feel this way after your diagnosis.From reading your posts you seem like a very strong woman. You have your family ready to help you and don't ever be to proud not to accept it.You are a survivor and many of us will be here for you if you ever need it.
    Jill.

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  4. Yes,Debbi, we are all ready for you, with lots of Love, Food and Drinks and number one, I am only eight minutes to the hospital and the rescue squad can be here it four minutes, if you get dehydrated. Sandi is strong, and I am mean enough, to make you toe the mark. lol We will Love you well. Sandi is still sleeping after her delayed arrival; and she will post later....Love you much....mom

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  5. Cancer makes people surfers of all those waves. Excellent post, and you are doing all you can possibly do to be healthy and well. And you are navigating life's ups and downs with class and courage.

    Keep going!!

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  6. Yes, you are a survivor! And a tough one, for sure. Keep that sassy attitude and you'll be just fine! Best of luck tomorrow. I'm so glad you have your mom and sister to take care of you. And don't worry about the port--mine looked awful and the area was very bruised, and even though I'm sick of looming at it, it's been so handy to have.

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  7. no matter what will happen in the future only God knows It is not his intention to make us suffer,but to provide us comfort in times of need. please Pray every Day God is listening. I will keep praying

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  8. hang tight and keep talking, Deb. We are all listening. we will support whatever emotion you need to share. Hope, fear, joy, deflated, uplifted.... you name it and we will all b here for you.
    AnneMarie

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