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Saturday, January 14, 2012

I am here

I am so sorry I have not been able to post to my blog.
I have been very sick with side effects and they had to stop chemo
I have severe neuropathy in my hands and feet so bad I have not been able to type. I have had pneumonia and/or bronchitis for over 2 months.
And been to the ER several times.

I have made a few updates thru FB over the last couple weeks tapping out a few things with a large kindergarten chubby pencil.
But was not able to blog , the pain is so bad.
I will try to do better.
I should have taught my Mom how to update it for me.
I just got to sick , and in pain....
They did finally put me on meds to hopefully help with the pain of the neuropathy on Wed.

I found out this past Tues that I still have cancer in both sides of my chest where they did they mastectomies when I went to the consult for the RADS.
I had been led to believe it was just in the side that was invasive.
He didnt want to have to do RADS on both sides if I still need surgery.
He wanted me to have more surgery first...Then RADS.

The next day I had to see my oncologist for the first time since they stopped chemo.
He told me that my surgeon..or no other surgeon would do surgery on me because my lungs are now in such bad shape from the COPD and chemo that I would die on the table...or never come off a vent.
I felt like someone had thrown cold water in my face.

Please keep me in your prayers that the chemo killed the cancer...and that if there was any left after chemo that the radiation will kill it.

Trusting in God...and Knowing that he knows whats best for me.
I know I can be healed by him, even without surgery.

My son Jason came and took me out to eat last week....
As you can see by the pic's I am looking better then a couple weeks before :)

Looking pretty bad here....

I look a bit better after 2 weeks ...

Friday, October 21, 2011

Second treatment down

It was a really long day as they took forever for labs results to come back from my blood work. They came back great. Chemo was a go..We were there from 8:30-3:00. because they run more meds this time, before the chemo started

But thank goodness they did... this one seems to really be going so much better.
Praying because I went into this one feeling 100% healthier then I have in years that
I am going to have a really better time then the first.

Of course I am on the first day after but I can tell a big difference. They added a couple things before they started chemo this time that they hadn't last time One of them being Emend, and I have no nausea at all...Yay!!
I cost my poor Sister Sandi a fortune in food and drinks thru the whole thing. lol

Came home and still eating like a pig..drinking well in between sleeping for hours from the meds
Hopefully today when I go back for the shot to boost my white blood count I don't have to stay hours for IV's again. Don't see why I should.

I hope it continues to go so well. My poor Mom and sister were running ragged trying to take care of me last time when I was here at Moms for almost a week.
They both were exhausted.So hopefully this time will be better on them too.

I am very shaky and not feeling "right" My eyes are bugging ..But so much better then how sick I was the first treatment.

I do have to go back next Tues for IV fluids.
My oncologist felt it would be best to do after all the problems I had last time.

Please continue to think good thoughts and prayers that I keep doing as well over the next few days .
I am so blessed

Here is a pic Sandi took during cant see half the food sitting around. It was funny how much I and drank ate.
Going to keep that up...120 I come ~

Tuesday, October 18, 2011

Hospital overnight and my hair is gone..Yikes!

I was sick for 11 days out from my first chemo
After another morning of throwing up I called my oncologist who put me back on the steroid I had to use the day before , the day of, and the day after chemo.
By that night I was feeling like a whole new person !!!
Just slight nausea that lasted until then next day..then gone..Yay !!

I did end up in the hospital overnight last week.
I was feeling great from the steroids my oncologist put me back on Tues.
But kept have bad asthma attacks.I thought it was the Indian summer we had here .
But I started to realize I was choking on water..
Not good I thought...
Called my PCP and told her I needed an antibiotic and she said  no way..with your lung problems and heart AND just having chemo. You could have fluid surrounding your heart and lungs...Or a blood clot from the chemo.

I was so mad when they kept me. It ended up I do have a slight case of pneumonia, but they started me on IV antibiotics last night and sent me home with a Zpack and feel I should be ok for this weeks chemo.
So thats a good thing...I guess the reading didnt see it last night.
But when the radiologist went over it good the next morning ,they told my Dr it was a slight case.
So good it was caught before it got serious and collapsed my lung or something.
I went from choking on fluid , to coughing up tons of crud after the Iv's last night and breathing treatments every 2 hours. I guess there was more down there then just fluid like I thought. Ughhhhh nasty !!!

But here's a couple pics of me trying to Rock the scarf..They were taken this Sunday.
I am now losing all my eyelashes and my brows,,,but thats ok,
I am also losing all those cancer cells still in there !!!!!
I am feeling GREAT and gearing up for my next chemo this week
I will be staying at Moms again..And my sweet sister Sandi is coming in from NC to be my chemo buddy again.
me with my Baby Ellie...One of my many babies.
Thank you for reading and praying for me...Your support is amazing.

Wednesday, October 12, 2011

I'm still here♥♥

Sorry about the 2 week posting lag after chemo.
I just was not up to posting on my blog or reading other blogs.
I am so behind and just hate not seeing how all the other girls are doing.
Mom, Sandi updated and I tried to update on Facebook when I could.
I am
If any readers want to be friends there.

Chemo day itself went pretty well.
I had no reactions to the meds.
Felt little nausea during it.
So far so good...Sandi was a great chemo buddy....bringing food and drinks.

I felt stomach pains that night and queasy, but didn't get sick.
The compazine helped. , but that all changed over night.
When I woke up the next morning I was sick.
Sandi and I had to go back to Cleveland Clinic and I didn't know how I was going to make the trip. But I made it and seen my surgeon who told us GREAT news.

The cancer I have left in my breast area is just in my skin.,
Not deeper in the chest walls like I thought.
Praise God  !!!     

I didn't know how I would ever deal with even worse pain then I had from the double mastectomies , as they had to go so deep in the muscle .
I am so very thankful that it's just in the skin.
He said the chemo may kill that, but it still has to come out.
I will have to have skin grafts, as there's not enough skin left.
But I am just thankful that it's not deeper.
He also wanted the biopsy done on my thyroid , so Sandi made that appointment for me as I quickly headed for the bathroom so I didn't embarrass us both and got sick.

We then headed to the Oncology Dept to get the  Neulastim shot to boost my white blood count. I got sick again.
Before they would give me the shot, they insisted I get IV fluids from being sick and anti nausea meds thru iv.
Sandi and I were there a couple hours then they gave me the shot and we headed home. Long day again.
I was exhausted...but little did I know the "Crash and burn" feeling you get a couple days after the steroids they gave me the day before, the day of..and the day after chemo makes you feel.
Most of my days 3-5 after chemo was sleeping. AND pain...
Bad stomach pains ,still trying to get sick but the new stronger nausea meds stopped that. But also almost having a blockage from the bad hernia I have that can not be repaired until after all this.My stomach was so painful.

They will do it when they do the hysterectomy after chemo and RADS are over before I have to take Tamoxifen for 5 years.
Tamoxifen causes cancer of the uterus it all has to go before that.

Mom and Sandi were wonderful caregivers...and my bestest friends.
Even if I did keep calling Sandi , Jen ( my oldest daughters name)
I thought I was doing so good when I realized I had chemo brain and said...
Oh I mean Manda...(my youngest daughters name) thinking I was getting my mind  Poor Sandi. 
And my step father Clarence cooked me so many goodies.
I kept telling him how good they tasted , as I know how good they always DO taste.
But really I either couldnt half taste them...or they tasted a lot like metal.
Bless his heart .

The days after have been good and bad.
I still suffer nausea and stomach pains a lot, but not as bad almost 2 weeks out.
I talked to my nurse yesterday and after telling her everything she called me back after talking to the Dr. He put me on steroids to hopefully help some with this until the next chemo. I took 2 of them yesterday.

I do feel less nausea and stomach cramps but I was up half the night...
Hey...I'll take that over being sick and hurting.
Oh and ATE....I ate half the night...Which is a good thing as I've lost weight on a body that sure didn't need to lose anymore. So thats a good thing too.
I feel pretty good this morning but am sure I'll need a nap.

I also am getting the worst Charlie Horse type pain in my hands and fingers.
I talked to the nurse about that too. She said it is Neuropathy...
It can vary , from numbness and tingling in the hand and feet to severe pain
Figures I'd get the severe pain.
It may get even worse as treatments go on....I'm sure with my luck it
And it can or may not go away when treatment is finished.
Praying it does. I curls my fingers like claws and is really painful. And it comes out of no where...There no warning like Oh it comes. 

It is nerve damage from the poisons the run thru you in chemo.

Well this is already so long...but I know other then a few short updates on Facebook my friends and family are all wondering how I'm doing so I wanted to let you all know.

Staying strong here....getting ready for the next chemo next Thursday Oct 20.
Sandi is coming in again for my....Yay ~~
Love and hugs...Thank you all for your good thoughts and prayers.

Thursday, September 29, 2011

DUI on my bike? read that right
Can you get a DUI on your bike on a country road ?
Yes,..I know you really can get a DUI on a bike,,I wont mention any names..LOL
This person also hit a deer on his bike, Not funny...

But I honestly just had a 1/2 Vicodin and 3 ibuprofen in me.
So I'm sure there were no problems there.
But , I'm just saying...

I was outside...The weather was beautiful.
In pain, but eyed Toms bike. Yes Toms bike.
My bike has not been out of the garage this summer.

This all started June 18 with a bad mammogram after finding "the lump"
and in Ohio it was just finally getting warm and stopped raining
When I was diagnosed June 23rd and my world became Doctors appointments and surgeries.
Not bike rides....

So I am eyeballing Toms bike...Thinking I WANT to ride that bike.
Can I do it? Can I ride that bike?
(with visions of the little guy on "Laugh In" where the little guy falls over sideways on his tricycle)
Do it Debbi....this little voice said.
Then I said to Tom I am going for a ride on your bike.. Do you think I'll be ok?
Tom said try it..if its to painful , just stop and turn around.

I felt pain when I put my arms up on the handlebars.
But took off.
When I got on the road I felt so free...It felt so good to ride the bike.
I'm doing it...I thought... I could do this for hours....
For just a little bit I was healthy again , and didn't think of breast cancer.

I had left Tom standing in the driveway up by the house.
I rode about a half mile down the road to see a neighbor, but she wasn't home.
As I turned around to come back I could see a spot in the road.
It was Tom...
I'm sure he was wondering what in the world I was
He never expected me to be able to go so far. Neither did I.
As I got closer..He yelled car , so I moved over .. and I had to laugh.
Wouldn't it be funny to get a DUI on a bike?
That may be my only bike ride this year.
But going into chemo today , it still makes me smile as I sit here.
And maybe...just maybe...I'll do good and get to ride my bike with Tom before the cold Ohio winters hit again.

Think of me...wish me luck , that I do good with this chemo today and can.....

Wednesday, September 28, 2011

I'm starting to Get it now

Waves....thats what I'm getting.
It comes in waves...
Waves of being positive and waves of being down.
I read so many blogs that are strong inspiring women.
This week....Well this week was not that week.
There's a wave of many of us being down.

While I keep getting more bad news I don't want to hear.
So are many others this week.
They are riding the wave of being down.
Mets (you can read what Mets are by clicking on link)
Several having just found out they have cancer that is now somewhere else in their body.
Pain...that many are feeling
And the deep hurt of pain knowing some of our sisters are sicker.
And some are slipping away.......

So I am now "getting it"
It comes in waves of being strong..of being positive
To get knocked down...Waves of being down...then pulling yourself up again thru the love and prayers of your friends and family

There are no hero's ...Just strong people fighting to get through so many treatments and pain and LIVE.
None of us really have a choice.
And if we did have the choice it sure wouldn't be this.
So I have worked though the last bad news of still having to have more surgery in both sides of my chest.
Even tho I don't like it...I know I CAN DO IT !!!

I got the camera out this weekend when I seen all my baby geese in the front yard
(Where they shouldn't be) and had to laugh when I seen Tom chasing them with the lawn mover,blades off
to scare them into the back pond area again. As you can see...they are not babies anymore.
Tom then tried to get a shot of where they put this darn port in.
It doesn't show very well as it was to bright outside.
But you get the idea..This thing hurts my skinny old body.I wish I had just went with tying the chemo via IV first.And if it blew veins , then go with a port. And NOT one totally under my skin.
I was black and blue from chest to armpit and hurting on a chest that is still hurting from the mastectomies.

My sister is on her way from NC
My Mom is all ready for me at her house.
I will not be staying at home for the first few days, not knowing how I'll do with this chemo.
She wants to make sure I EAT and get plenty of rest.
I get motion sickness so easy , and get very sick for hours with general anesthesia
But I am armed with nausea meds and ready to start this next step.
Hopefully its not going to be that bad.
It's the not knowing that's so scary.

But today I am good...I'm riding the wave.
I can do this. I am going to be a survivor!!!

Saturday, September 24, 2011

What a week

Thank you all for baring with me and understanding how behind I am reading and posting to my bloggie friends.
I don't know how you all manage to find the time to blog so regular and post comments.
Or feel well enough to.
I wish I could do a better job of it

But I read all your comments and appreciate the support I get from you and friends.
This week it was just easier for me to make a few postings to Facebook.
I am Debbi Chapman Dempsey there if any of you want to be "friends"
I know some of you are already my friends on there.

It's just been a crazy week and I got pretty down
Ok...Honestly I got VERY down.
As I said before we had two neighbors die from lung cancer... then
I had Drs appointments and surgery for the Power port placement almost EVERY day this week.
Monday , I had 3 appointments alone !!!

I start chemo this Thursday. Friday I go in for the Neulasta shot and to the surgeon.
I knew I was going to have to have more surgery at some point , as I had more cancer in the right breast with invasive cancer.
What I didn't know is its still in BOTH.
My Oncologist told me this after talking to my surgeon Thursday.

I just cant imagine going thru that pain again.
It took 4 weeks for the pain to even start to get better after the mastectomies.
Now they have to go deeper into my chest and get clear margins.
It is also in the skin , so a plastic surgeon will be there also , so that if I need skin grafts.

So I go to see Dr Handsome Friday after the shot to set surgery up.
I can't tell you how much I am dreading this.

I hope I am one of those that do well with Chemo.
I know my luck tho...and my tummy. I have always had such a touchy stomach anyways.

My sister Sandi is coming in from NC at the beginning of the week.
She is going to be my chemo buddy and take me to and from the chemo and Fridays Drs. appointments.
I love you Sandi. And am so thankful that you are going to be with me :)
I love her little Shih Tzu , Lacy too...I wonder if she's coming this time?
(She's really my niece Ashley's puppy)

Now to go read some of my bloggie friends posts and try to catch up on you all.