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Wednesday, August 10, 2011

The day before surgery and more test results

More bad tests....sigh:::::
I went to the pulmonary specialist for the pulmonary function test
I didn't do very well.
Since Nov o9. When I had lung function of 66%
I am now down to 43%.
Another FAIL!!!!
I guess I should be getting use to that now.
But it's getting so hard to stay positive.
I will post the time of my surgery later today when they call with the time from the hospital.

Dr explained to me how I "could" end up on a respirator.
But , he does not think that will happen.
If it does he told me not to worry.
I will be heavily sedated.
That when in surgery everyone is always on a respirator and their lungs become lazy.
With my problems my lung "could" be even lazier and not want to work.
And I would have to be weaned off the machine.
I am praying this doesn't happen.
It scares me :(

Came home and had a real hard time later that evening.
Feeling sorry for myself ,
I guess you could say.
Wanted to talk to my Dad. I miss him so much.
But I knew if I called him I would cry like a baby....
So I didn't call.

I am not suppose to have breast cancer and having surgery and treatments I kept thinking.
I am suppose to be going to see my Dad this fall in NC
I haven't seen since he moved 4 years ago.
Its not fair....It was all planned...It's just not fair.
The more I thought about it the more I cried.
I love you Dad and wish this wasn't happening..
I wish I was coming to see you.
I was so blessed to have two such wonderful parents.
I love you too Mom.I don't know what I would have done if you hadn't been here for me thru all of this


  1. Debbi you are one of the strongest women I know... You will get through this and then soon enough you WILL go visit your dad in NC.
    Hang in there, keep the faith and place it with God, he will see you through...

  2. No it isn't fair, but then life isn't sometimes, but I truly believe god doesn't give you more than you can handle, I felt the same way for a while, why did I have the problems I have... but I also know that being hit younger gives you a chance to fight back more, and that is something I need to do too... and I know I will because I get my toughness and stubborness from my mama... and for those of you who don't know me.. my mama knows.. there aint nothing i'm afraid of, and when I've had enough look out because I come out ready to scrap... and so does she... she knows I am behind her 110% and she's gonna be around a long long time, she has great grandchildren to see and a son she has to watch get married yet..time to get out of the gray area mom and get your health in check and that is what you are doing.. and I'm proud of you.

  3. hey deb, major prayers going up and will continue to do so until i know you are out of surgery and are fine. remember God is in complete are a strong women and you will do fine during and after the ya..

    ya gonna get better so ya can go see your Dad in the near future..

    love ya

  4. I'll say an extra prayer for you. Good luck tomorrow.

  5. You are always in my prayers but I'll be saying extra prayers for you tomorrow and throughout your recuperation.

  6. Deb
    First "Thank you" for stopping by my blog...

    We are members of this exclusive club we didn't ask to join. All the feelings you are experiencing are real..

    It's very daunting having to go through this. I will keep you in my prayers

    Good Luck & Love on your surgery tomorrow....I will check back in a few days see how you are recovering...
    Love Alli xx

  7. I've been thinking about you tonight, Debbi. I will be praying peace and comfort for you throughout tomorrow morning.

  8. Hi Debbi, just found your blog. Sorry you have to join those of us with cancer. Sounds like you already had some health problems to deal with. I will pray for your surgery. May God bless you and give you peace...He will be with you in surgery tomorrow!


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