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Thursday, June 30, 2011

Physically and Emotionally drained

After yesterdays Drs. appointments. And I know its only going to get worse.
I didn't get home until almost 6:30 last night.
I just kept thinking , I can't do this.

I had a appointment with my primary care Dr to get my COPD meds.
She was very upset when she seen me .
I've lost even more weight. I look horrible with dark circle's under my eyes.
She was more upset when I told her of the breast cancer and double mastectomies.
She said ..what next Debbi? I said I'm wondering that too.

"You have wheezing" she says when she checks my lungs. DARN !!!! I think ....
"Increase you breathing treatment to every four hours "she says...DARN I think again....

She talked with me for almost a half hour telling me how I can beat this , and how 2 years ago she fought and beat brain cancer. "You can have my wigs and scarves" ........I cried.

I came home...feeling stressed and rushed. But had a couple hours before Mom came and took me to Cleveland Clinic.
Took care of my puppies and dogs and ate some of the yummy things my wonderful step father brought for me.

I'm feeling better. The morning had went well. I now had my appointments for the cardiologist 7-26 and pulmonary specialist 8-8. I worried about that one being to close to my new surgery date of 8-11.
Chest x-ray also ordered and my cancer navigator is setting up a CT scan to see if its anywhere else in my body.

I find out thru her what hospital they will be doing the surgery at.
No I didn't know before then...I was in such a daze last Thursday. I didn't ask
It will be a 5-6 hour surgery between the two surgeons and I will be staying a day or two after.
Again...No..I hadn't ask this last week.

Mom picks me up , we head to the clinic and we wait. Then we waited for even in the room.
The nurse was concerned about my weight and that the appointment for the pulmonary specialist wasn't until 8/8

So the plastic surgeon comes in...I am naked from the waist up while he checks me over and measures.
Then tells me his nurse has to get me an appointment for with the pulmonary specialist before 8-8 or my surgery will have to be changed. That just is not enough time to get the tests I need to make sure I will be ok with my breathing problems thru the surgery.
So now I am waiting this morning. To see if she can get me in sooner somewhere.
Or the date of my surgery will be postponed again....

DARN again !!!!!

By the time I got home I was wiped out.
I hope today I get better news.
I didn't like yesterday at all.


  1. I can't imagine how difficult this is. I'm sure your blogging helps, and keep reading and researching until you know as much as your doctors. Being informed is so important! I'm keeping you in my thoughts.


  2. Debbi, so sorry you are going through all this anxiety. The process of the getting everything lined up and green-lighted for surgery is incredibly stressful. Just take it one day (or one hour!) at a time and you'll get through it! You're not alone my friend.

  3. Hi Debbi,
    hang in there! All the appts and changes can make you feel out of control and anxious.
    Remember to stop, take a deep breath and tell yourself you can and will get through this!

  4. I'm so sorry that on top of cancer you are having to deal with COPD and other health issues as well. Man, I remember very well complaining that a woman should not have to deal with PMS and cancer at the same lucky was I? I do know that when I got the diagnosis of cancer my blood pressure skyrocketed. My doctors put me on meds to control for fear that my BS would not do surgeon if my blood pressure was out of control

    Of course they took my blood pressure today and now it is too low. You can't win.

    I am happy to hear that you have a cancer navigator. They can be so helpful. Make sure to ask about post mastectomy cami's, bras, prosthesis, and all that while you are undergoing reconstruction!! I was shocked to find out that Norstrom has special fitters for us cancer ladies, and many insurances will cover bras from them.


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