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Tuesday, September 13, 2011

More spots

I haven't had the time to post in the last few days.I'm sorry about that.
I know many of you are wondering how all my appointments have went.
I really was feeling a bit overwhelmed by it all .Seems when I hear more "news" I am knocked for a loop a bit for a few days.
I am better now. Sometimes it just takes a few days to wrap your head around it.
So heres where were at now.

I went to my first oncologist appointment last Thursday.
After explaining to me what type of chemo he is going with and telling me the side effects
He goes thru my scans via the computer.
Bubble cysts in liver...Large Cysts in right ovary
( No worries he says...I have to have a total hysterectomy since my cancer is estrogen positive)
Spots on my thyroid and spots on my lungs....
WHAT.....STOP....HOLD UP.... You mean my thyroid (I dumbly say this)
No he says...You have spots on your thyroid AND lungs.
I am in shock....SPOTS ON MY LUNGS???????????

I felt fear...
Then he said to Tom and I.
"I am concerned these are cancer"
GREAT....just great I think...what next?
Then he tells me they are very small 5m and will be watched for growth thru scans every 3 months.
I felt shock.....then ANGER !!!!

I insisted on the nuclear body scan and CT scans so I could know just how far the cancer had spread from my breasts,
I was told they were all clear!!!!
Since then I have been told each and every visit of things they found.
Where were my rights as a patient to know?
Why did they lie and tell me they were clear?
Anger....that's what I felt. I had a right to know all of this from the start.
Chances are I still would have went thru the double mastectomy and fought
But they for whatever reason decided to tell me a lie.
That my scans were clear when in fact they were not.

I ask...Will the chemo make those spots go away?
He said it could...will just have to watch it.
I pray it does.
So I was upset...then got MAD after I left his office.
I still cant believe they wouldn't tell me all this before now.

I then went and got my hair cut VERY short on Sunday before chemo.
The pictures does not show it very well. It looks longer then it is.
It's almost shaved on the back and side. Will make my hair falling out easier

Those of you on Facebook have already seen these pics.
But I will add them here for those that didn't.
Tom took a close up pic of me that evening and I was so tired. It shows on my face.
But it does show the hair the best.

Here's some more with my goats...and the baby geese that have grown almost as big as the adults

And a pic of me with about the only pear on our
Right now I am waiting for the phone call today to set up the surgery for my port.
They want to do that before the heart catch , as I will be on Plavix if they have to put a stent in.
They are all working together to make this fall in to place so I can start chemo the week of the 26th of Sept.
2 weeks away.
The blood work for the thyroid came back that it is I will have to have a biopsy on that later too. But my Dr said they are watching that too...right now they want to get the port heart fixed and get me started on chemo. He is not going to worry about the biopsy right now...

And...this is big...a bit of good news finally... The cancer that was found in the lymph node was ONE ISOLATED cancer cell....YAY !!!!!!!
Thank you all so much for the sweet comments about my Christopher last week.
His birthday is always a sad day for me.


  1. hi there lovely lady! i can understand your frustration you do have the right to know ,but sometimes I think the drs. wait till they know what something is before they mention it. like they need to get their ducks in a row to avoid malpractice siuts. what they don't understand is most of the time we want to know WHAT MIGHT be going on & then it doesn't shock or make you feel worse. But I know with my mom she really relied on God's will to guide the drs. Now that she is gone I can see just how much her faith in God gave her peace. Congrats on the good news!
    As hard as it may be keep smiling & know that there are alot of people praying for you!

  2. @betty
    Betty I too am relying of God to get me thru this.
    I don't know why then were straight up with me.
    I'm sure they have their reasons.
    Maybe they felt from how I insisted on the tests I wouldn't go thru with the surgeries if they had.
    I guess I'll never know.
    I just know I'm going to beat this

  3. Debbi,
    My heart goes out to you. I will continue to pray for your recovery. Be strong. Debi Arnold Walters

  4. @Debi Arnold Walters
    Thanks Deb...would love to talk with you sometime. Catch up on old times :)
    You've been thru this. I cant wait for life to be normal again

  5. Sweet Debbi, I have to tell you that my initial reaction here is anger along with you. HOW IS THIS POSSIBLE?! You are going to kick this and it is NOT going to come back again.

    You are so strong and in case you haven't already heard it enough yet, your hair looks fabulous. I love that cut.

    I'm praying for you!

  6. Debbi,

    I am infuriated at the medical system that let you slip through the cracks. Really awful. I think that qualifies as medical malpractice, and I think you could really sue those buggers.

    As patients, we are taught to trust our doctors and the medical system. Well, the only people we can trust to advocate for us is, unfortunately, ourselves.

    I'm so sorry you have to be going through all this. I will hold you in my thoughts for the best possible outcome.

    I love your blog and will be including it on my blogroll.

  7. I'm catching up since I just found your blog but had to pause long enough to say that totally sucks and I'm so sorry it happened this way. Trust between cancer patients and their docs is sacred, it's such a shame when that trust is strained. Hugs to you!


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